You know you're a parent when...

In honour of all you US moms! (from Lady Jan on Divas, but I couldn't resist posting it here. You may well have read this before. If you're like me, you've lived each and every one...)

• You count the number of sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they are equal.
• You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's favorite toy and made him/her cry.
• You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
• You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
• Your child throws up and you catch it.
• Someone else's kid throws up at a party and you keep eating.
• You consider finger paint to be a controlled substance.
• You mastered the art of placing food on a plate without anything touching.
• Your child insists that you read "Once upon a Potty" out loud in the lobby of the doctor's office and you do it.
• You hire a baby sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then you spend half the night talking about and checking on the kids.
• You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it's the only one your child eats.
• You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into unusual shapes.
• You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi's mother.
• You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during his first month at school, then you obsess when he skips in without looking back.
• You can't bear to give away baby clothes--it's so final.
• You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "Not in your good clothes."
• You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
• You read that the average-five-year old asks 437 questions a day and feel proud that your kid is "above average."

That last one is SO familiar! I even double checked the number while watching Enchanted today as 6yo son asked another one! :D